DREAMS the older the better.

by Tubby

                                                             
I drink a lot of tea, probably more than one cup every two hours, which is fine, except when I consider myself seventy-eight years old. My bladder has developed a limited capacity.

This limited capacity means I need to pee just as regularly as I drink tea. While this is acceptable (I am not a teenager anymore), it results in me being awakened at night every couple of hours to pee.

Nights are different; I no longer sleep until dawn or whenever daylight arrives. This regular interruption is evidently part of aging, and I have come to accept it as a part of life’s journey.

During normal sleep, the mind likely needs to finish its dreams before waking up, which results in the dreams concluding upon awakening. However, I rarely have any memory of those dreams.

Today, my body wakes me up before my bladder demands attention and before “dream interruptions” occur. I can now recall the last few seconds of an interrupted dream.

It has taken me a long time to understand why I remember so many dreams, but this journey of learning and discovery has been fascinating. This is my only conclusion: upon waking, I regularly remind myself, “REMEMBER THE DREAM.” As a result, I have achieved a sense of accomplishment in being able to recall at least the last few seconds—sometimes more—of my dreams.

I still have no understanding of how my body and mind work and how my dreams synchronize. But when I wake up and open my eyes, I face the same scene as in my dreams; a little darker, it incorporates the only visible areas in my room. The scene includes the light emitted from my kitchen, the light on my Microwave Oven, through the bedroom door, and the glimmer of light reflecting through the Venetian blinds.
I can hold that view or awaken fully by choice.

THE CHANCE

by Tubby

This is a fairy tale for both children and adults. It features an extremely wise owl, a not-so-wise but quite gullible Wallaby, a very upset platypus, a bilby that gets trod on by a wild brumby, and a bowerbird that loses a shiny object he was planning to add to his nest. In the end, everything turns out well for the young Wallaby and a new friend when the Wallaby discovers the chance of a lifetime. Discovers the chance of a lifetime.

The Owl could have been either the King or the  Queen of the forest, but none of the other animals
that lived in ‘Owls Wood’ knew if Owl was a male or a female.
Some creatures thought that perhaps another Owl would have known if Owl was a boy or girl. But there weren’t any other Owls in the forest, and if there had been another one, nobody had ever seen it. Some of the wiser animals said they had never known Owl to lay an egg;
some thought this was significant. At one time, Red Kangaroo plucked up the courage to ask, “Have you ever laid an egg?” There were many eager ears and eyes that day, Watching and listening, eager for answers to the question. King or Queen?
Owl merely agreed that eggs could be excellent for breakfast. This remark neither added nor subtracted to the male or female question.
 The truth was that unless you were another Owl, it was extremely tricky to know these things. The only sure thing that any forest animals knew was that Owl was very old, extremely wise, and demonstratively more knowledgeable than any of the other forest animals. Owls’ peculiarities were that They usually ate little creatures, like insects, spiders, earthworms, snails and crabs, fish, reptiles, and small birds. Some Owls eat mainly mice, shrews, and voles. The particular Owl that ruled this forest was strange because Owls did not like to eat friends. Owl preferred to eat Porridge. “Porridge is excellent on icy mornings.” That’s what Owl always said. “

None of the animals cared much about what other Owls ate, so everyone was happy. Porridge never grew in the forest, so it was quite a mystery to the other animals where the Owl got the Porridge.
A passing Crow once flew over ‘Owls wood’, and Shouted the word “VEGAN” at the Owl.
But everyone knew Owl was an Owl. Owl was extremely intelligent, and this is precisely
what Owl told everybody. To prove the truth of this statement, one afternoon, Owl invented an entirely new colour. It was Wallaby who discovered this creative brilliance. Wally Foolishly asked Owl, “what are you doing perched on a tree branch?”
“I am inventing a new colour,” stated Owl.
“What colour is it?” asked Wallaby.
It would seem that Wallaby had forgotten how silly it was to ask Owl questions. But Wallaby had asked, and it was correct that Wallaby should suffer the consequences.

Owl puffed out some chest feathers and stated arrogantly. “My dear Wally, I am vastly more intelligent than you, I can see and understand complex concepts that your small mind could never grasp. On even the merest physical level, you can barely jump. On a purely intellectual level, you can scarcely hop. I, myself,” boasted Owl, “on both physical and intellectual status can fly and soar above and beyond anything you could dream.” Then Owl continued, “Wally, I sometimes wonder about the imagination and the awe you must feel every time we encounter one another. Tell me, young Wallaby, what do you see when you look at me?”

“I see one crazy bird,” answered Wallaby humbly.

Wallaby was perfectly correct in his assessment of Owl. The Owl was indeed as nutty as a fruit cake. And, like every other animal in the forest, Wallaby accepted Owl’s superb intelligence as a powerful contribution to the whole existence of the forest and its inhabitants. Wallaby wondered what the new colour might look like and secretly hoped that one day, he might get a glimpse of it. It was at this precise point in time when Owl announced:
“BY MY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL CREATE A CHANCE FOR EVERYBODY.”

And then the Owl did just that;

Owl created a huge chance. The most peculiar consequence was that young Wallaby saw it but never properly understood precisely where it was. “Where is it?” asked Wallaby.
It was well known throughout the forest that Wally was slightly gullible. This was most likely because he was quite young. He was a lively and enthusiastic animal, but sometimes, he was inclined to jump first without knowing where he would land.

For this very same reason, Wally had seen the Chance that the Owl had invented. Wallaby wanted to see Chance very much.

On many occasions, Wallaby’s Mother had shaken her head in despair when Wally accidentally hopped into another Gum Tree. While Wallaby’s Mother was watching what Wallaby was attempting, she regularly shouted at him,

“Wally; you never had a Chance”.                     Now, things would be different.

The wise old Owl had given Wallaby a very nice Chance, and Wallbaby did not intend to lose it.

Wally hadn’t travelled long before he came across Little Platypus and his older Sister, Big Platypus.   They were playing and frolicking in the water, causing quite a ruckus. Suddenly, Little Platypus called out to his Sister,

‘Look, Big Sister! I can swim down and grab that rock now!’

Big Platypus stopped what she was doing momentarily and floated on the water’s surface, watching as Little Platypus prepared to dive. Then she surged forward to push him out of the way. ‘It’s too deep! I’ll get it for you!’ And she disappeared underwater. Little Platypus swam sullenly over to Wally and then threw himself down on the bank of the river. He looked up at Wally and
then down at the ground.

‘I wanted to try it myself. My Sister never gives me a chance to try.’

‘A Chance?’ asked Wally. ‘She never gives me a chance!!’ he grumbled. Wally pondered momentarily but soon set off again, leaving Little Platypus sulking and Big Platypus diving
underwater.

It was only after a very short distance that Wallaby came across a horrible accident. Bilby had been quite badly hurt. It had been very sudden. A Brumby that had been trotting along the narrow track that winds its way to the river had accidentally trodden on Bilby. Bilby’s leg was very sore

“It all happened so quickly,” said Mrs Bilby, who was in tears, “One minute he was happily sunbathing in the short grass, the next minute it was all over. It’s all very upsetting. He never had a chance,” cried Mrs Bilby.
“Never had a Chance?” repeated Wallaby.
“Never had a chance!” wailed Mrs Bilby.
Quite naturally, Wallaby was in total shock and had to sit in the shade for a few minutes. It was only now that Wallaby realised how important it was to have a Chance. Wally had seen the result first-hand of what could happen simply because Bilby never had one. I was starting to realise exactly how important it is to have a Chance. It was quite a long while before Mrs Bilby’s friends found her. With their comfort and support in place,

Wallaby felt it was about the right and sensible time to leave. Only a short while later, Wally found himself sitting in the afternoon sun in a very comfortable place on the hill near the river. A sprinkling of shade from a big Gum Tree made it an excellent place to view along the riverbank in search of the Chance. Wally began looking left and right. He looked into the grass, along the river bank, up into the trees and even into the clouds.
The Chance.
Wally thought it was essential to check out the clouds. It seemed quite sensible. If you do not know the appearance of what you are looking for, then it might easily be missed. If you thought you were looking for something big and round and it was quite small and fluffy – maybe even floating – then missing it would be pretty straightforward. Wallaby never saw anything that looked even remotely like a Chance. Nothing he could see did not look exactly like what he knew it to be.
It was not long before little Miss Wallaby came hopping into the small clearing.
“Hello,” said little Miss Wallaby when she saw Wally.
“Hello,” said Wally, and then added, “I am looking for my Chance. Owl told me there is one somewhere down here by the river, especially for me. I intend to find it.” Little Miss Wallaby was a little bit suspect of Wally but thought that she ought to find out precisely what Wally was talking about.”What does it look like?”

“I expect it is very beautiful,’ said Wally.
“I expect it is,” said little Miss Wallaby.

‘Did you know that Big Platypus never gives Chances to Little Platypus?” Wally  asked suddenly.
“No, really?” said Miss Wallaby.
“Yes. And now little Platypus seems sad.” Wally paused for a moment.
“And did you know that Bilby never had one? Mrs Bilby told me that he never had a chance.”
“No,” said little Miss Wallaby.
“Well, he didn’t. Now his leg hurts.” Wallaby shed a small tear. The two of them sat quietly under the Gum tree, thinking about Mrs Bilby.


It was about this time when Bowerbird was searching for something pretty to decorate his new nest. Searching was something he always did this time of the year. Bowerbird’s wife absolutely loved bright colours and shiny things. So Bowerbird collected as many glittering objects as possible to make their new home look pretty.

It was extremely fortunate that Bowerbird came across a small silver teaspoon glinting in the sunlight that Somebody had probably lost while having a picnic beside the river. It was almost exactly what he was looking for.

The spoon was slightly more oversized than he could comfortably fly with, but he wanted it anyway. It was quite a struggle to take off into the sky, but he did make a successful take-off.

As it happened, the teaspoon was harder to fly with than Bower-bird had hoped. It slipped a
little bit in Bowerbird’s beak.Itt was impossible to keep hold of.

The small silver spoon dropped from the sky, spinning and twirling, glinting and flashing in the
sunlight.

The glinting of the falling spoon reflected in the sky like a falling star or even a sparkling diamond. Spinning and twisting downwards into the small clearing where Wally and his new friend were looking upwards.

Wallaby shouted out loud, or maybe it was more of a scream of delight. Little Miss Wallaby saw it, too. She shouted to Wallaby so loudly that he could easily have heard her even if he had been back where the Owl was sitting in the tree. “It’s the Chance!”

Little Miss Wallaby and Wally looked at the Chance with amazement. Neither of them had ever seen anything as beautiful.

“Do you want to share it with me?” asked Wally.
Miss Wallaby smiled and said, “We can build a beautiful place to keep it on the hill among the rocks.”

Wally gasped with delight. “I’m a Rock Wallaby!”
“So am I,” said little Miss Wallaby with a small smile.
It was quite a long time later that Owl called around to visit the Wallabies. The couple had built a beautiful house on the hill to keep their Chance. When Owl called in to visit they were not alone – several little Wallabies were hopping around.  The Chance had been mounted on the main wall of their home. W

hen the Owl inspected it, he said. “This is the best chance I have ever seen in the whole forest.

 

I Transformed My Bed with Cozy Throw Rugs

by Tubby

              **I Transformed My Bed with Cozy Throw Rugs**

Have you ever experienced a serendipitous moment that changed the way you view your space? I recently uncovered two throw rugs that have completely transformed my bed into a cozy oasis! The joy and satisfaction I feel from this little upgrade is beyond words.

When it comes to throw rugs, my approach is a bit unconventional. I don’t just see them as decorative pieces; I use them as sheets and even a bedspread. Why settle for cold, hard sheets when I can feel like I am wrapped in a marshmallow? Trust me, anyone who knows my style will tell you that my bedroom may not rival the stunning magazine layouts, but my throw rugs are a game-changer.

Picture this: every night, as I sink into my bed, I’m enveloped in soft, fluffy comfort, reminiscent of a cat basking in a warm sunbeam. The rugs not only add a touch of style but also provide the ultimate coziness. There’s truly nothing better than crawling into a bed that feels inviting and warm after a long day.

If you’re looking for a way to upgrade your sleep experience, I highly recommend integrating thoughtfully designed throw rugs into your décor. They’re not just aesthetically pleasing; they can completely enhance your bedtime routine. Whether you prefer bold patterns or subtle textures, there’s a perfect match for everyone—no judgment on style choices here!

Let’s be honest: my bed deserves better than boring sheets. With throw rugs that are hand-washable and oh-so-soft, I can create a space that reflects my personality while providing maximum comfort. So why not?

I discovered the magic of throwing rugs and experienced the difference for myself, in my bed and in my sleep.

 

A beautifull rug

by Tubby

Imagine the world’s most versatile Rug you can carry everywhere, from the bed to the beach and every adventure in between. Our unique Throw Rugs are made of luxurious 100% Recycled Cotton fibres designed to last a lifetime. Features: ❊Bohemian-styled Rug ❊Authentically woven, ❊Perfect for summer days & winter nights ❊Two distinct patterns on each side

❊Thick & Durable ❊Measures 160x200cm generously sized to ensure there is enough warmth to go around ❊ Fits perfectly over a double-sized bed ❊ Exclusively designed by the Sunni Scenes team. Please note that colours are taken in bright light; please allow for colour variations. Weight: 1.8 Product care: ❊Cold & delicate wash ☤ Hang to dry.
Transform any space with our incredibly versatile Throw Rugs! Perfect for every occasion, from cozying up in bed to lounging on the beach. Made from luxurious 100% Recycled Cotton fibres, these rugs are stylish and built to last a lifetime. **Key Features Include:** – Bohemian-styled design – Authentically woven craftsmanship – Ideal for both summer days and winter nights – Two distinct patterns on each side for versatile styling – Thick and durable, measuring a generous 160x200cm – Perfectly fits over a double-sized bed Exclusively designed by the Sunni Scenes team, these rugs add a touch of luxury and warmth wherever you use them. **Product Care:** – Cold & delicate wash – Hang to dry. Please note that colours may vary slightly due to lighting conditions, so expect a unique piece just for you! Don’t forget to tag us @@sunniscenes to showcase your new Rug on social media! Experience comfort and style today—
Grab your Throw Rug now! Elevate your space with our stunning Throw Rugs—your perfect companion for every adventure! Whether snuggling up on your bed or enjoying a day at the beach, these versatile rugs are designed to go wherever life takes you. **Why You’ll Love Our Throw Rugs:** – **Stylish Design**:

on the beach - softer than sand.

  • With a bohemian flair, these rugs are authentically woven and feature two distinct patterns on each side, allowing you to switch up your style effortlessly. – **Quality Material**: Made from 100% Recycled Cotton fibres, our rugs are soft and luxurious but also thick and durable, ensuring they stand the test of time. – **Generous Size**: Measuring 160x200cm, they provide ample warmth and comfort, fitting perfectly over a double-sized bed or making a statement in any living area. – **Seasonal Versatility**: Ideal for summer days at the beach or winter nights snuggled up at home, these rugs are genuinely year-round essentials. **Care Instructions**: To keep your Rug looking its best, we recommend a cold and delicate wash, then hanging it to dry. *Note: Colors may vary slightly due to lighting conditions, so ensure each Rug is yours uniquely.* Join the new trend of functional and stylish home decor. Don’t miss out
  • make one of our exquisite Throw Rugs yours today!

Philosophy

by Tubby
                                                                   Pointless story
Understanding the crucial role of exercise in longevity, Bob was spurred into action when it was suggested that he walk ten miles daily.
He was told that ” commitment to this routine would undoubtedly make him fitter and significantly improve his health.”
THEY TOLD HIM, “Fit and healthy people live longer.”
Bob made a powerful resolution: ” I will walk ten miles every day.” This resolution, made with determination and hope, has led to well over a year of consistent daily walking.
Bob deserves credit for this unwavering commitment.
He set off on this day well over 12 months ago. He made the resolution and has been doing it every day for over a year, inspiring us all with his dedication.
It’s a journey of approximately infinite miles, a path he chose without revealing the direction.
He was last seen a few miles out of Julia Creek, pushing a pram filled with tins of baked beans, Singing, “2,769,983 Two million, Seven hundred a sixty-nine thousand, nine hundred and eighty-three Green Bottles Hanging on the wall.”
                                                        THE MORAL OF THIS STORY
                                       Everyone should own their own Pointlessness.
                                                                    Philosophy.

Pointless Poem

by Tubby

            Pointless Poem  I wrote in 2016

I have discovered many sure things

aside from death and taxes, that inevitably brings.

I found one dedicated principle, amazing as it seems.

That applies to buying anything from shoes and socks to jeans

Just say, perchance you buy yourself a discount Rolling Royce

for 10 cents on the dollar. It could be any car, your choice

Inevitable and true, you soon will hear a voice

“You silly bugger, I gave away one similar, only half the price.”

usually, I ask with practised ease. “Did your car need some repair?”

And if they answer yes or no, I do not really care.

“My new car has a small dent, and I needed one right there.”

I really will not tolerate bald men selling me their hair.

Aromat the Farten Hound The Most Unusual Dog

by Tubby

Preface

Be it in written form or verbal, we all love to tell stories. Every incident, event, or happening we describe to others becomes a story. We introduce characters, a storyline, then comes a climax and our story ends with a usually satisfactory happy ending.

Growing up, we all listen to stories told by our parents, grandparents, or other guardians. These stories are often all about teaching us important life lessons that would help us grow into good individuals. Having children of my own, I always loved telling them stories.

The tales of princes fighting dragons and saving princesses, the ones about the big bad wolf, the three little pigs, etc, are the kind of stories we all grew up with. We heard them from our parents, they heard them from their parents, and now we tell them to our children who will go on to tell their children. That is how stories, folklore, and legends are passed down from one generation to the next. However, the most important aspect of stories is that they have to be entertaining. If a tale cannot entertain a child, it loses its charm.

Some children are easier to entertain. You can just tell them the same stories over and over every night, but they would never get bored. However, if your children are like my youngest, then it might be a little bit harder. They do not like hearing stories they have already heard before. That is when parents have to get a little bit creative and start making up stories to humor their kids. We make up characters and their stories, and with time, we keep adding to the stories. That is precisely what I did when I told my youngest son the story of Aromat, the Farten Hound.

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This is a story for all those kids who like naughty jokes and rude behavior. Read on to participate in the adventures of Aromat, the most unusual dog in the world!

Chapter 1: Aromat and Tyson

 

Tyson had a great time in school that day. He had woken up early and dressed in his favourite shirt. His teacher had made his class watch a movie, and then during lunch, Tyson played footy with his friends. After school, he hung out with his schoolmates, Max and Jimmy. They talked about many things.

“Do you know what happens to a puffer fish?” Max asked as Jimmy scrolled through the website they were on. “Google puffer fish.”

At the age of 12, Tyson and his friends were very curious about everything and anything. They were especially interested in the things that were a little strange or weird. Like any other 12-year-old boy, Tyson and his mates loved finding out odd things and facts of the world that would blow their young minds.

One day, James told them that his cousin had a sugar glider as a pet. Max didn’t know what a sugar glider is. After googling and learning about sugar gliders, he discovered that they are fascinating little creatures. The boys were regularly kept busy learning more about many strange animals and creatures.

“There’s a Facebook page about ‘The 10 Weirdest Creatures You Will Ever See’. Should I click on that next?” Jimmy said.

“Oh, yeah! Click on that one!” Max exclaimed.

They were all huddled around James and his phone on the soccer field behind the school, waiting for their parents to come to pick them up. They had stopped taking the bus after some older boys had started

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bullying. Their parents said that one of them would pick up and drop the boys off each day, and they would all take turns. It was a temporary fix but something that they could do until somebody sorted out the bully problem.

Soon, they heard the honk of a car and knew fun time was over because their parents were there to pick them up. Tyson, Jimmy, and Max stood up to get inside the car and leave for home. Tyson was tall for his age, taller than the other boys, which was why he was good at football. His tight brown curls and freckles on the nose made him a cute kid that parents loved. His parents had high hopes that Tyson would match his footy skills with his intelligence and get a scholarship to a great college in the future if that was what he still wanted to do.

Tyson was clever, which was why he was always eager to learn more and more. He had always had a knack for facts and bits of random knowledge that he learned by reading interesting articles online, the back of cereal boxes, or even listening to the radio. He was a curious and intelligent young boy, which was why he always did great in school. He was interested in animals, always asking his parents to get him a pet. Since he was six years old, he had wanted a pet, but his parents wanted to make sure he knew how to take care of an animal before getting him any pet.

Tyson knew that having a pet was a lot of responsibility. Animals require constant love, attention, and care. You cannot leave them under anyone else’s care because pets would come to see you as their parent. Tyson knew all of this and was ready for the responsibility. He had been researching and studying for a long time. He knew that his parents

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wouldn’t get him a pet unless they were sure he was ready, so he made sure to be prepared.

When Tyson got home, he freshened up and changed his clothes. Then he fired up his computer and immediately started reading more articles and blogs about animals. He wanted to continue what he was doing with his friends earlier. He began to read up on more and more animals, and before he knew it, he was reading a blog about giraffes. Reading many strange facts about animals, he had discovered that giraffes have long necks for an evolutionary reason. Then he searched evolution and giraffes. Finding out the reason why giraffes have long necks was so that they could reach the softer, chewier leaves on the tops of trees, or at least that’s what Charles Darwin thought.

Tyson got immersed into the internet, learning all about evolution and how it significantly affected different animals. He knew how all animals and insects adapted to the changes in their environment, food resources, habitat, and most things, even events caused by humans. He was intrigued to learn that all animals evolve because of nature’s intervention. He started learning more and more facts about animals. He wanted a pet.

“Tyson! Can you come downstairs for a moment, please?” Tyson’s mum called out to him.

Tyson logged off his computer and went downstairs to see what his mother needed.

“Oh, darling, could you please go and get me this order from the butcher shop down the street? Your father was supposed to get it, but

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he left the list at home,” his mother said, sounding genuinely apologetic for making Tyson go.

“That’s okay, Mum. I’ll go. Don’t worry about it,” Tyson said good-naturedly. “Can I take my bike?”

“Sure,” his mum said with a smile. She kissed him on the forehead before he left.

Tyson loved taking his bike everywhere. Currently, he was only going to the butcher shop, but he didn’t mind. He knew his mother wouldn’t have asked for his help if she didn’t need it. She usually asked his dad to run errands for her if she did not have time to go herself.

Tyson’s mother ran a home-based business where she prepared and packaged meat pies. They were pretty popular in their town, especially in their neighbourhood.

Tyson loved to eat his mum’s meat pies, as she always filled them with juicy, tender beef, sauce, and lots of cheese. It was his favourite meal. When his mum asked him to go to the butcher shop, he immediately understood she needed something for the meat pies. Every night, she prepared the pies, and every morning, she woke up to bake them fresh and early. He hoped that she would let him have one of the pies for dinner that night since he ran this errand for her.

As Tyson reached the butcher shop, he went in to get the order. The butcher shop guys already knew him because his mother was a regular customer. He only had to wait a few minutes before he received a large packet of freshly cut meat. He put it in the carrier on his bike but was interrupted by a low whimpering sound. He turned to look where it was

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coming from but couldn’t see anything. He realized that the sound was coming from the alley right behind the butcher shop. He hesitated, knowing that he wasn’t allowed to enter alleys by himself and because his mother expected him home soon. Then he heard the whimper again, and his heart melted. He immediately put his mother’s orders away and went to investigate where the noise was coming from. As he turned into the alley, he spotted a small box right near the entrance. It was moving, and once he opened it, he was blown away by what he saw. It was a puppy!

The puppy made a yapping and whimpered noise as soon as it saw Tyson jumping out of the box and straight towards Tyson’s ankles. Tyson felt his heart melt even more as he looked upon the small dog. Tyson looked everywhere, trying to see if the dog’s mother was nearby or if it had other siblings with him. When Tyson couldn’t find any other dog, he knelt to look at the puppy closely.

It was quite a different-looking puppy, similar to a Labrador, but its features were different. Tyson knew enough about dogs already, wanting to have a pet for so long that he could tell the dog was a different breed. A breed he didn’t know.

As Tyson petted the dog, he was enamoured by how the puppy didn’t seem scared of him. It just looked a little skinny and small, but Tyson didn’t care. He quickly placed the puppy into his arms and looked around again, waiting for its mother to come back. He continued to pet the puppy as it curled its body around his arm, pushing its wet nose into his hand. He didn’t want to leave the puppy alone after having found him. He quickly placed the pup back inside the box, picked it up in his

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arms,coming from but couldn’t see anything. He realized that the sound was coming from the alley right behind the butcher shop. He hesitated, knowing that he wasn’t allowed to enter alleys by himself and because his mother expected him home soon. Then he heard the whimper again, and his heart melted. He immediately put his mother’s orders away and went to investigate where the noise was coming from. As he turned into the alley, he spotted a small box right near the entrance. It was moving, and once he opened it, he was blown away by what he saw. It was a puppy!

The puppy made a yapping and whimpered noise as soon as it saw Tyson jumping out of the box and straight towards Tyson’s ankles. Tyson felt his heart melt even more as he looked upon the small dog. Tyson looked everywhere, trying to see if the dog’s mother was nearby or if it had other siblings with him. When Tyson couldn’t find any other dog, he knelt to look at the puppy closely.

It was quite a different-looking puppy, similar to a Labrador, but its features were different. Tyson knew enough about dogs already, wanting to have a pet for so long that he could tell the dog was a different breed. A breed he didn’t know.

As Tyson petted the dog, he was enamoured by how the puppy didn’t seem scared of him. It just looked a little skinny and small, but Tyson didn’t care. He quickly placed the puppy into his arms and looked around again, waiting for its mother to come back. He continued to pet the puppy as it curled its body around his arm, pushing its wet nose into his hand. He didn’t want to leave the puppy alone after having found him. He quickly placed the pup back inside the box, picked it up in his

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with the puppy. He just hoped his mother wouldn’t make him give it up because he already felt attached to the little thing.

After Tyson brought the dog home, he had to listen to an hour-long lecture from both his parents. They were both upset that Tyson just brought a puppy home without asking them first.

What if its mother is out there looking for it?

What if it has brothers or sisters?

It probably has not been vaccinated yet.

It isn’t safe, just bringing home a wild pet!

Tyson showed them the small dog and asked, “I know what you’re saying, but do you really think this tiny puppy could be feral? Or hurt me in any way? And I checked for the longest time and waited to see if its mother would return, but she didn’t.”

Tyson explained to his parents how he had tried to make sure the puppy was indeed alone and that he wasn’t taking it away from its family. He told them about his discussion with the man from the butcher shop and how even he suggested that Tyson should take the puppy home.

“It looks strange, though…. like a different breed,” his dad said.

“We can figure that out at the vet, Dad,” Tyson pleaded.

After the long discussion and his parents lecturing Tyson again about his responsibilities and duties as a pet parent, Tyson was finally allowed to keep the dog. There was one condition, though. He had to make sure the pet wasn’t sick or had diseases at the vet the next day.

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Taking care of a sick pet was not a responsibility that Tyson could easily handle.

The whole night the new puppy spent sleeping in Tyson’s room. He was smitten with his new pet and couldn’t wait to tell all his friends about it.

The next day, Tyson and his dad went to the vet to get the puppy checked out. As the vet examined the puppy, the vet seemed quite surprised.

“This is surely not a breed I see very often!” The old man said.

“Doctor? What do you mean?” Tyson’s dad asked.

“Well, I only heard about them because they are so extremely rare. Your new puppy is a farten hound. I suspect,” the old doctor said.

Tyson and his dad didn’t know what a farten hound was, so they asked the vet to explain.

“A farten hound is a very, extremely rare breed. It’s even special because the breed has almost superpowers,” the vet said.

“Superpowers? My dog has superpowers?!” Tyson said excitedly.

Then the vet started to explain what a farten hound was. Farten hounds are normal dogs, other than the fact that their diet and farting habits are different. A farten hound can fart in colours and sounds. It can even imitate a sound after hearing it, but it takes some practice. It can fart in patterns of colours with practice. Their farts can smell like whatever they want it. They can make it smell like roses if they wish to or a trash can if they want to repulse someone. Nobody knows where

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farten Taking care of a sick pet was not a responsibility that Tyson could easily handle.

The whole night the new puppy spent sleeping in Tyson’s room. He was smitten with his new pet and couldn’t wait to tell all his friends about it.

The next day, Tyson and his dad went to the vet to get the puppy checked out. As the vet examined the puppy, the vet seemed quite surprised.

“This is surely not a breed I see very often!” The old man said.

“Doctor? What do you mean?” Tyson’s dad asked.

“Well, I only heard about them because they are so extremely rare. Your new puppy is a farten hound. I suspect,” the old doctor said.

Tyson and his dad didn’t know what a farten hound was, so they asked the vet to explain.

“A farten hound is a very, extremely rare breed. It’s even special because the breed has almost superpowers,” the vet said.

“Superpowers? My dog has superpowers?!” Tyson said excitedly.

Then the vet started to explain what a farten hound was. Farten hounds are normal dogs, other than the fact that their diet and farting habits are different. A farten hound can fart in colours and sounds. It can even imitate a sound after hearing it, but it takes some practice. It can fart in patterns of colours with practice. Their farts can smell like whatever they want it. They can make it smell like roses if they wish to or a trash can if they want to repulse someone. Nobody knows where

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hounds come from, but they are extraordinary and different. Farten hounds don’t have regular dog eating habits either. They eat a lot and get really hungry, but the more they eat, the more they grow.

They use up the food to increase their size and shape. If a farten hound eats a meat pie, it would grow the accurate measure of a meat pie. If it eats two meat pies, it would increase by the size of two meat pies. The eating habit is not the only thing that makes farten hounds so unique. Other than their farting abilities, farten hounds are also very brave, loyal, and intelligent. They cannot be fooled and can smell a bad guy from a mile away, literally.

“I can’t believe I have such an amazing dog!” Tyson exclaimed after he got home from the vet’s clinic.

“Are you sure you want to keep him, son? Having such a special dog can be extra responsibility,” Tyson’s dad said.

“I am prepared for those responsibilities, Dad,” Tyson assured.

As Tyson told his mother all about the fantastic new abilities he had learned about the dog, she was also shocked.

“That means you found an exceptional dog, Ty,” his mom said.

“I sure did!” Tyson squealed.

“Don’t you think a special dog like him deserves a special name?” His mom smiled.

“After all, he is your new best friend,” his dad added with a smile too.

“You’re right! What should I name him?” Tyson worried.

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Tyson looked at the puppy as if hoping he would bark out his favourite name. The puppy just made yapping fart noises in excitement. The truth was that a farten hound couldn’t bark, but the pup had anal powers that could make any sound. Aromat would learn to fart any word when he grew older.

“I think…I think you should name him Aromat,” Tyson’s mom suggested. “When the puppy passed wind, it had a very unusual and pleasant aroma.”

“Aromat?” Tyson wondered. “Hmm…it sounds nice! I like it!”

Aromat started jumping around with Tyson while his parents just chuckled. Soon, the boy was tackled to the floor by the small yet strong puppy as it sniffed excitedly and licked Tyson’s face. Then, in a surprise, Aromat farted, and a massive cloud of blue raspberry-smelling floated. Everyone laughed, knowing it was just Aromat’s way of showing its excitement.

Soon enough, Aromat and Tyson became the best buddies. They would sleep together, play together, and even go on bike rides together. It was clear to see that Tyson and Aromat loved each other. Aromat was also a very nice, well-behaved puppy. Sure, it could be mischievous sometimes, but it never made a mess or got Tyson in trouble. Aromat knew that Tyson would get in trouble if it did something wrong since it was Tyson’s responsibility to take care of Aromat.

Aromat loved Tyson so much. He was so grateful to him for rescuing it from that scary alley where Aromat was so hungry. It couldn’t believe

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it was so lucky to have been taken in such a good family. They all loved it and took care of it so well. Aromat loved its new family. They also gave it a lot of food to eat, which helped Aromat grow quickly and a lot.

Aromat was much bigger now, even though it was only a few months old. Tyson took him on walks, and Aromat would meet other dogs in the neighbourhood. He wished he could become friends with them all and run around with them in parks, but it never happened. Tyson didn’t know because he could not speak the ‘dog’ language, but every time he took Aromat out on walks, other dogs would laugh at it. They would make fun of it and tease it for its abilities.

One day, while on their walk, Aromat became so excited that it farted a massive cloud of purple air, and it sounded like a train. Tyson and the other kids laughed, loving Aromat and its odd abilities, but the other dogs didn’t laugh with them. They laughed at Aromat. It hated how that made it feel because it knew it was different. Tyson always appreciated how different it was, but Aromat could feel how different it was.

Aromat could never make friends in the town or get along with any other dogs because they would laugh at it and its abilities. Even other animals made fun of it regarding its unique abilities. Even though Tyson and his friends always said how ‘cool’ Aromat was, how ‘interesting’ its powers were, or even how its powers made it like a ‘super dog’, Aromat didn’t like how the other animals talked about it. They spoke of it like something was wrong with it or that it was ‘weird’, ‘odd’, or even ‘ugly’. Aromat wanted to fit in and belong to Tyson and his family in the city. Still, because of these animals, it couldn’t.

Chapter 2: Different Qualities

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The more time passed, the more Aromat grew into a beautiful dog. He was no longer the small, skinny puppy that Tyson had found in the dark alley. He had grown up and gained weight. Although Aromat would take on the size of everything he ate, he could lose it all with a single massive fart. Tyson had been meticulous in feeding him proper food. Food that wouldn’t make him grow too big or too little. But Aromat could double his size easily at a single meal. He could actually eat a wheelbarrow filled with apples and become the size of a Shetland pony.

Tyson often told new friends, “You have to see it to believe it.”

The truth was that people could see it and still not believe it. Tyson loved hanging out with Aromat. They quickly become the best buddies. Aromat was such an unusual dog that made him unique.

Tyson introduced his new pet to all of his friends. They were all amazed when they saw the things that Aromat could do. Tyson had always wanted a puppy, and his wish had come true in the best of ways. Whenever Tyson went out to play with his friends or meet up with their pets, Tyson would always take Aromat. It had become their new routine. Every Friday night, the boys played video games together, and they always asked Tyson to bring Aromat with him.

Tyson didn’t know that Aromat was hesitant to go with Tyson when other animals were present. He didn’t have a problem with Tyson’s friends because they all loved him, giving him lots of hugs and cuddles.

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they would tease or annoy him. Aromat knew he was different anAromat only hated it when other animals or pets were present because d had abilities that other dogs didn’t, but he didn’t think he deserved to get bullied for it.

Aromat’s fart powers were the most significant ability that he had. He could fart in different colours, patterns, scents, and even sounds! He could make his farts look like any colour of the rainbow and have swirls and dots on them. The best part was that if Aromat heard a sound, he could imitate it in his farts. If he heard birds chirping or the mailman singing, he could mimic that. If he heard a boy crying, he could make his farts sound like that too. It was quite the ability that Aromat was blessed with.

Tyson loved having such a unique and special dog. It wasn’t just because of Aromat’s special abilities that Tyson loved him so much. Aromat was a cute and fun dog himself; he didn’t need those qualities to be lovable. Tyson had fallen in love the moment he saw the puppy in the dark alley, and he hadn’t known about his abilities back then. Aromat was also very strong for a dog. The day they took him to see the vet, they discovered firsthand how strong Aromat was. At first, the vet had been scared, but then he was excited.

“I have never seen this before! Nobody has ever documented these abilities anywhere!” The doctor said excitedly.

“What do you mean, doctor?” Tyson’s father asked in concern

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“I mean this is a discovery. Entirely new for the breed! Or any other living animal. Maybe Aromat is extra special since no other farthound displayed this ability…,” the doctor then went on to explain that Aromat’s muscles were more robust than that of an average dog, even at such a young and weakened state.

“So, my dog is super strong?!” Tyson was thrilled.

Since that day, Tyson had been watching Aromat closely, trying to see if he could discover any other new abilities his extraordinary dog had. Tyson also realized that Aromat made a perfect crime partner for him. Whenever Tyson got into trouble and couldn’t tell his parents because he would either get grounded or be yelled at or both, Aromat would help him using his abilities. Tyson also learned that he could help people and do many other activities because of Aromat’s extraordinary powers.

One day, Tyson played in the park with his friends when he heard an old lady yell.

“Please, Whiskers, come down! I will give you anything you want!” The old lady was screaming at a tree.

Tyson and his friends were perplexed because why would an old woman scream at a tree and call it ‘Whiskers’? Tyson walked closer to see what the problem was and discovered the reality. The older woman was not yelling at the tree but her white Persian chinchilla cat that was stubbornly sitting atop a branch high up on the tree, its tail swishing back and forth as it narrowed its eyes at the disturbance.

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“Please”I mean this is a discovery. Entirely new for the breed! Or any other living animal. Maybe Aromat is extra special since no other farthound displayed this ability…,” the doctor then went on to explain that Aromat’s muscles were more robust than that of an average dog, even at such a young and weakened state.

“So, my dog is super strong?!” Tyson was thrilled.

Since that day, Tyson had been watching Aromat closely, trying to see if he could discover any other new abilities his extraordinary dog had. Tyson also realized that Aromat made a perfect crime partner for him. Whenever Tyson got into trouble and couldn’t tell his parents because he would either get grounded or be yelled at or both, Aromat would help him using his abilities. Tyson also learned that he could help people and do many other activities because of Aromat’s extraordinary powers.

One day, Tyson played in the park with his friends when he heard an old lady yell.

“Please, Whiskers, come down! I will give you anything you want!” The old lady was screaming at a tree.

Tyson and his friends were perplexed because why would an old woman scream at a tree and call it ‘Whiskers’? Tyson walked closer to see what the problem was and discovered the reality. The older woman was not yelling at the tree but her white Persian chinchilla cat that was stubbornly sitting atop a branch high up on the tree, its tail swishing back and forth as it narrowed its eyes at the disturbance.

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, young man, help me. My Whiskers is stuck up there and can’t get down,” the old lady pleaded.

Whiskers seemed happier to stay in the tree, but clearly, the woman was upset and wanted her cat to come down. Tyson’s parents had always taught him to help those in need, especially people who asked for your help in dire situations.

“Let me try and climb the tree, Ma’am,” Tyson said politely. He thought he could climb the tree since he was so good at climbing at his school. He liked to climb trees as well. However, he had just taken a few steps climbing the tree when his foot slipped, and he tumbled to the park ground. He was just glad he didn’t hit any rocks or his head too hard. He stood back up with a grunt and tried to figure out another strategy to get the stubborn cat down from the tree. He tried meowing at the cat and even took some of its treats from the old lady to lure it down, but nothing seemed to be working.

Before Tyson was about to give up in frustration, Aromat walked up to him and whimpered till he got Tyson’s attention. Tyson had taught him that trick. Aromat couldn’t bark like a normal dog, but Tyson wanted to see if he could imitate it through his farting powers. He made him listen to the bark on his phone and then showed him a video of a dog doing it. Soon enough, Aromat had learned how to imitate the sound of a dog barking, whimpering, and growling. Aromat used this skill to communicate with Tyson.

Tyson was confused as to why Aromat was bothering him. He was always a good dog and listened to Tyson when he told him to ‘sit’. It meant that there was something urgent that Aromat wanted to

communicate. Tyson leaned down to be at his level and wondered what

 

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Aromat needed. Aromat kept fart-barking at Tyson, then looking at the cat in the tree up above and then back at Tyson.

At first, Tyson was confused, but then he understood clearly. “Do you think you can help, buddy?” He asked as he scratched Aromat behind his ears.

Aromat farted once loudly, using his anal muscles to imitate the spoken word. ‘Yes!’

Tyson stood up and wondered how Aromat could even tell that they needed help, let alone what he thought he could do to get a cat down from a high branch. He wasn’t going to question it, though, since Aromat had proved pretty capable until then. He stepped back to allow Aromat the space he needed, and the dog moved forward.

Then, much to the shock of the old lady and the other spectators in the park, Aromat started farting. His farts started loud but not smelly. His fart appeared in the shape and colour of a mouse, in a similar way that occasionally by just looking at a cloud, we can sometimes see the outline of an elephant. But the fart was dense and distinct. It looked exactly like a mouse – a flying mouse. It even smelled like a mouse.

Everyone was shocked because how could a dog do that? The old lady’s mouth was hanging open. Tyson and his friends were astonished while the rest of the people started pointing and whispering. However, what was even more surprising to everyone present was that it seemed to work. Slowly, as if hypnotized by Aromat’s farts, the cat started making its way down the tree. It jumped lithely from one branch to the

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next, then came running towards the fading mouse as the breeze slowly dissolved it.

Aromat stopped farting once the cat’s paws touched the ground. He stood there while the lady ran to her cat and hugged her tightly.

“Oh, Whiskers! You gave me such a fright!” The lady said to her cat as she squished her between her arms, then gave her a loving hug.

The cat seemed grumpy at not catching the mouse and started to meow loudly, and the lady apparently understood the cat-talk. She reached into her bag and pulled out a few treats for the kitty, ones that did not smell or look like the farts Aromat had made to lure the cat down the tree. The cat munched on its treats happily and relaxed in the lady’s arms.

“Thank you so much, young man! You helped me a great deal today! Here, have some money to buy treats for yourself and your helpful dog!” The lady said to Tyson as she handed him a few dollars.

After the lady was gone, Tyson and his friends were amazed that he had received 50 bucks for saving the cat, thanks to Aromat. Tyson did as he was asked and bought some yummy treats for Aromat with the lady’s money. He also bought himself an ice cream cone. All in all, it was a perfect day.

Tyson came home that day and told his parents all about the fantastic trick Aromat had pulled in the park earlier, and they were just as surprised. They all showered Aromat with loads of cuddles and hugs that night. Aromat was one happy dog, feeling satisfied and proud to have helped Tyson with his task.

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***

Ever since the day Aromat had helped rescue the older woman’s cat from the tree, everyone was in awe of Aromat. They knew he was a special dog and loved treating him like that. He had become quite the neighbourhood hero. Tyson couldn’t be happier. Since that day, every time some trouble or situation arose in front of Tyson, he made sure to take Aromat with him and help out any way he could. Aromat was like a superhero dog. He could help so many people in so many different situations because of his unique abilities.

One day, Tyson’s father was reading a newspaper and saw an ad for a dog show. “Ty, there’s a dog show about to happen in town this weekend. Why don’t you take Aromat? I’m sure he would wow the judges!” His dad said.

Tyson loved the idea. He knew his dog was unique, and now he could show it to the world. As soon as the weekend arrived, Tyson excitedly took Aromat to the venue with his parents. They were all excited to show everyone just how special Aromat was. As they arrived at the venue, Tyson’s parents took a seat in the crowd while Tyson walked around to get Aromat familiar with the place.

Everything was being set up, the dogs were being prepared, the judges were ready, and the crowd was excited. There was a bell that rang suddenly, signalling the start of the show. Many of the dogs ran to the edge of the grassy area upon the sound of the bell, while Aromat stuck behind. Then, all of a sudden, there was a loud noise, and all the dogs yelped. They gathered on some artificial grass laid over some temporary planks, covering a deep trench that greenkeepers had dug

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on the side of the grounds in the arena where they were installing some underground water pipe. Workers had partially filled most of the dugout channel and filled it, added topsoil, and laid new turf. They had left one small section incomplete. The last section where they intended to install a fire hydrant. The dogs gathered in the same area as the temporary planks. The movement of the dogs dislodged the safety arrangements, and a few of the smaller dogs fell into the hole created by the excavation.

Everyone in the venue stood up and gasped. For a moment, there was utter silence as everyone just looked at the scene in shock. Then they seemed to gather their bearings and people started rushing to help get the poor dogs out of the hole.

Tyson told Aromat to ‘stay’ and be a ‘good dog’, then he rushed with his friends to get the groundkeeper. Everyone was panicking as they heard the dogs whine and bark, hoping to be rescued. Tyson was trying to help the other kids who had come with their dogs because he knew how much he would panic if Aromat fell.

“Sir! Sir! Please, help! The dogs are stuck! They fell in the hole!” The kids yelled at the groundsmen as they tried to understand what was going on.

“What? And speak one at a time,” one of the men said.

“Sir, there has been an accident. The fake grass hid the loose planks, and the dogs fell in it! They are unable to climb out on their own, and we need your help!” Tyson explained.

“Yes, sir, please help my dog!” One of the kids pleaded.

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Some of the officials immediately ran in the direction the kids were pointing. Everyone was in a rush because of the severity of the situation. As they reached the place, everyone was gathered around the hole, staring at it and talking loudly.

“Hey! Back up! You’re going to scare the dogs!” One of the officials shouted.

Everyone took a step back silently, waiting for the officials to do their jobs. As the men stepped up to evaluate how to rescue the dogs, they stared in silence. The hole was a little bit too deep for the dogs to climb out without assistance. The crowd decided to throw some rope in and try to get the dogs to use it to climb out. It didn’t work out. Then they decided to reach down into the hole themselves, but the dogs were so scared and intimidated that they growled and snapped at the strangers reaching them.

Tyson was on the sidelines, watching it all unfold quietly. Then as if a bolt of lightning had hit him, he looked down at Aromat, and his eyes widened. He remembered how Aromat had helped in so many situations, one of them being rescuing a cat. This situation was somewhat similar, and Tyson thought perhaps Aromat could help again. He turned to kneel on the ground and patted Aromat on the head.

Then he said, “Aromat, help them out! Do something to get the dogs out!”

Aromat wagged his tail and farted excitedly. Tyson clapped his hands, and they both ran over to the hole. Tyson spoke to the officials,

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who didn’t seem convinced of Aromat’s powers. Tyson told them to wait and see. Soon, Aromat stepped up to the hole, and everyone became silent. The dogs stopped barking too. Aromat started farting, and soon he started farting in the colour and shape of meat and steaks. His farts smelled like it, too, enticing the dogs to an expectancy of food.

Once they were under Aromat’s trap, they started trying to reach the top of the hole. Aromat ran over the edge of the trench. Aromat place his bum on the solid ground surrounding the trench, and his front legs climbed down into the hole. Using his back legs as an anchor, almost his entire body lowered into the ditch.

“That is a strong dog,” Tyson heard somebody say.

Tyson quietly said to himself, “Yes, but you ain’t seen nothing yet.”

Aromat’s back legs were perfect as an anchor, enabling him to reach far enough to grab hold of the back of the neck of the closest dog with his jaws. He pulled it out using his great strength.

“What sort of dog is that?”

“I do not know what it is doing here,” one of the judges said. “All the entrants must be a registered pedigree to be eligible to appear in the show. I have been judging all breeds for twenty years and have never seen the likes of that mongrel.

Tyson was angry. “THAT IS NOT A MONGREL!” He shouted at the judge. “It is a Farten Hound.”

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The judge seemed a little taken aback at Tyson’s outburst. “Well,” answered the Judge, “that mongrel will never take home any ribbons while I am the head judge.”

As Aromat lifted every dog out of the hole using his jaws, Tyson and the other boys cheered him on. Soon, all the dogs were successfully out of the hole and didn’t have a scratch on their bodies. Once again, Aromat had done the impossible and helped out in such a difficult situation. Everyone started praising Tyson and Aromat, giving Aromat an honorary Ribbon for being a hero.

“Screw you,” Tyson whispered as he got close to the All Breeds Judge.”

Many dog owners at the show patted Aromat, gave him treats, and praised him constantly. He felt like he was in heaven, especially pleased because, for the first time, other dogs had shown that they accepted his strangeness.

After the event was over and it was time to go home, Aromat was with some of the dogs he helped out of the hole. They thanked him, praising his abilities and having friendly chatter with him. Meanwhile, Tyson said goodbye to his friends and their dogs. Aromat couldn’t believe it. The other dogs liked him and were being friendly with him. He couldn’t believe that he had finally managed to make friends. He was ecstatic. Everyone was just so in awe of him and his abilities.

Even as they were making their way out of the venue, people stopped and petted Aromat, praising him and his heroic acts earlier. Tyson and his parents could not be prouder because Aromat was like a

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family member to them. His getting praised meant they were all getting praised. Aromat’s abilities had truly made him shine like a star. From that moment on, it became easier for Aromat to talk to other animals and become friends with them. He had stopped getting teased, and people were starting to like him. He was very popular in their neighbourhood by that point.

Every day was a new challenge and adventure with Aromat, Tyson noticed. They started solving more and more problems, helping people or animals out with predicaments. It made Tyson think about Aromat and his powers a lot more. At first, he thought it was all fun and cute, but now he was genuinely starting to wonder about it. How did farten hounds come into being? Why were they so rare? And why did they possess such magical abilities? These were all questions that floated around Tyson’s head all the time.

One day, Tyson came home from a walk in the park where Aromat had helped some kids fight off bullies using his strength and farting powers. Tyson had been proud that Aromat was such a beloved dog by so many, but his special abilities had also made him think. He was becoming more and more curious about Aromat’s skills and how they evolved.

That night, Tyson sat in his room looking up farten hounds. He wanted to learn more about them so that he could be a better caretaker of Aromat. He started reading up on strange and rare animals in the world. Then he remembered the article he had read about animal evolution. He wondered if that was how nature created farten hounds. That perhaps was just an evolutionary step. He googled more about

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farten hounds and development in animals, staying up past his bedtime to study up on what made Aromat so special and why. He wanted to figure it out to help Aromat be his best self and make sure that he was well cared for; he was always safe. Tyson learned more about evolution and how some animals develop features due to their environment, eating habits, living conditions, etc.

Chapter 3: Old Owner

 

The weekend started with clouds hovering in the sky and rain drizzling down on the town’s people. Tyson woke up and frowned at the wet pavement, the rain beating down on the windows with a soothing tap-tap-tap sound. Sure, rain made things look pretty, but Tyson had been looking forward to the weekend all week. The entire week in school had been busy for him. They had tests and projects, so he barely had any time to have fun or hang out with his friends. He had to prepare for his tests and work on his science project, so his parents had not been too keen on letting him leave the house for anything.

Tyson was an intelligent kid, but he still needed to study to be innovative. Now that the weekend had arrived, things had cleared up in his hectic schedule. He and his friends had made plans to have fun this weekend since they had not spent much time together for days. They had planned to go to the park and play football. Then Brian’s parents would take the group to the shop for pancakes. The plan was next to go to Adam’s house, lounge around the pool, relax, and soak up some sunshine. Summer was almost over, and autumn was just around the corner, so they wanted to enjoy as much of the sun as they could before they had to bundle up and find shelter.

Now the drizzle had literally rained on their parade, making their plans fall short. They definitely couldn’t go to the park or even Adam’s house anymore. Tyson was sad because he was looking forward to a weekend of fun with his friends. Just as Tyson left the bathroom dejectedly after washing up and changing out of his PJs, Aromat came

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bounding inside his bedroom with his tongue lolling out his mouth and eyes sparkling with a joy that only dogs could hold in their eyes.

“Hey, buddy,” Tyson greeted Aromat, kneeling on the hardwood floor to scratch behind his ears and giving him a hug that Aromat was expecting.

Aromat got up on his hind legs and pushed his paws on Tyson’s chest, making him fall back on the floor. Aromat started licking his face in excitement as Tyson laughed and cried, “Hey, stop! Aromat! Stop, it tickles!”

The loud laughter of Tyson and excited fart sounds from Aromat made Tyson’s mother come up the stairs, wondering what was going on. “What is happening here?” She asked as she entered the room. Then she laughed at the scene and said, “I see, Aromat got you, Ty.”

“Mum!” Tyson giggled. “Help me!”

Tysons mum came in and helped pry Aromat off Tyson’s chest, giving a pat and a quick scratch to the dog’s neck. Aromat’s tail wagged quickly, showing his excitement.

“Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you being greeted like this by anyone. He might even love you more than me,” Tyson’s mum teased.

Tyson giggled, and Aromat let out another excited fart. “He does seem to be in a good mood today.”

“Good. I hope you’re in a good mood too because I need a favour,” mum said.

“What is it?” Tyson asked.

“Well, I made a supply run in the morning before you woke up, but now I need a little bit more because of an influx of orders all of a sudden. The rain probably put people in the mood for some pie, I guess. Can you go to the store and bring me some sausages? I’ve called ahead and placed the order already; you just have to pick it up,” she said.

“Sure, Mum,” Tyson got up immediately. He got up and headed down to the garage, Aromat following him around with his tail wagging and tongue out.

“What? Do you want to come with me too? It’s raining, buddy,” Tyson said, walking into the garage to get his bike and raincoat. However, just as he opened up the garage door, he noticed the rain had temporarily stopped, though the clouds still loomed above. “Oh! Well, I guess you can come now….”

Tyson made sure to get a raincoat for Aromat before taking out his bike and getting Aromat seated in the basket at the front. Aromat was slightly smaller by this time as he had just been pretending to be a trumpet. The imitation trumpet farts were very realistic. With a bit more practice and learning, a recognisable tune was something that required practice. Aromat had attempted farting tunes that he had heard on the radio.

Then they were on their way to the butcher shop. Once Tyson reached the shop, it only took a few minutes to get the order his mother had placed. It always went by quickly.

Just as he got back to the bike, Aromat was standing guard, as if Tyson needed protection for some reason. One of the shop’s delivery

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guys left the store. He tipped his hat to Tyson, both knowing each other from the times he had delivered to Tyson’s house.

Suddenly, Aromat became still, his tail stuck straight up in the air. He sniffed the air. Tyson didn’t notice the dog’s strange behaviour as he was too busy packing his mum’s delivery package in his bike’s container box. The delivery guy had just climbed into his truck and started up the vehicle when Aromat began fartbarking. This time, he was making barking sounds not out of excitement but as a threat.

“Hey, Aromat! What’s wrong, mate?” Tyson was alert now.

Aromat kept fartbarking with a warning until suddenly he broke out in a run and started chasing after the delivery truck that had just left the store, farting noisily. A wee-woo, wee-woo sound.

“Aromat! Stop! Where are you going? Aromat!” Tyson yelled after the farten hound, seeing him chase the truck as it sped off. He immediately got on his bike and ran after his dog.

Aromat kept chasing after the truck as Tyson wondered what had got into the dog. They kept running behind the vehicle for a block before Tyson brought out the whistle hanging around his neck on a string he held for emergencies. He blew it, and Aromat stopped immediately.

“Aromat! Get back!” Tyson said, and the dog hesitated but then bounded back towards Tyson and his bike. He turned around to fartgrowl at the truck that drove off.

“Boy, what is wrong with you? Why did you run after that delivery truck?” Tyson asked.

By then, Tyson and Aromat had figured out a way to communicate since the pair of them was often stuck in sticky situations. Whenever Tyson asked Aromat a question or made him do something, Aromat would respond using his powers. At that moment, Tyson had to think about it for a bit, but then he understood what Aromat was trying to communicate.

Aromat stayed silent for a few seconds, then quietly but deliberately reproduced the new and exciting sound. He had regularly heard the different sounds of sirens on ambulances, fire engines, and police cars. He farted a soft, steady sound, like the sound of a faraway police siren. Wee-woo, wee-woo.

“You were a police car?”

“What, you think that delivery guy was a thief or something? That he stole sausages?” Tyson asked in confusion.

Aromat farted in affirmative, and Tyson laughed.

“Oh, my God! Aromat! That’s not true! He’s just the delivery guy for the butcher shop!” Tyson kept laughing. Then he reached out to scratch Aromat’s ear and pet him lovingly. “Oh, you sweet innocent dog. He wasn’t stealing the sausages! He was on his way to deliver them!”

The farts that sounded like the police siren had caused Aromat to shrink even smaller than before. Aromat was looking hungrily at the meat that accompanied him in the basket. Aromat could consume massive amounts of food when he required more size. It was lucky for Tyson that Aromat could eat virtually anything. For sure, Aromat was not going to get his teeth into mum’s pie

fillings or the sausages.

29

Not when there was a fruit-laden apple tree in a neighbour’s garden, late summer was an excellent time to pick apples. Aromat was quite capable of stripping and eating the whole crop of apples a tree could produce. But it made him huge, massive, and far too big to fit in a small basket. How many dogs enjoy eating apples?

On their way back home, Tyson kept chuckling at how Aromat ran after a truck sounding out a full police siren for a whole block, making Tyson rush after him on his bike just because he thought the delivery man stole some precious sausages. It was indeed one of the funniest events that had happened ever since they had adopted Aromat. It would seem that sausages were extremely valuable to dogs.

As soon as Tyson got home, he told his parents about what happened, and they also laughed at the incident. However, it seemed like Aromat didn’t feel like being laughed at, so he went straight to sleep.

Tyson didn’t think much of it and decided to take advantage of the respite from the rain. He texted his friends to meet up at Brian’s and left home promptly. Tyson wanted to take Aromat with them since he also liked lying down beside the pool or hanging out with his friends, but he had been sleeping ever since the morning. Tyson left, thinking the dog must have tired himself out from all the running and chasing after the truck.

Hours went by, and Tyson finally came home around evening from Brian’s house. He went to take a shower then asked his parents where Aromat was. He would always come running to greet Tyson whenever he came home from somewhere. They truly had become very close, becoming best friends while Aromat had been with the family. That is why he was surprised Aromat didn’t immediately rush to tackle Tyson when he got home.

“I haven’t seen Aromat in for quite a long time. I think he’s still asleep,” Tyson’s mother said with concern.

The dog was not lazy or sleepy, so he wouldn’t usually sleep much, especially during the day. The comment made Tyson concerned, and he worriedly went to check up on Aromat. Sure, the chase might have tired him out, but he couldn’t have possibly been so tired to sleep throughout the day. Aromat would never sleep for that long straight without waking up at least once. Tyson saw the dog curled up in his dog bed, snoring away.

“Hey, mate, you okay?” Tyson petted him lovingly.

Aromat blinked up at Tyson blearily, looking exhausted. He didn’t even have the energy to raise his head to bump his nose at Tyson’s hand like he usually did when the boy patted him. Tyson decided to wake the dog up by tempting him with delicious treats. He went into the kitchen, warmed up some milk, and put it in the dog’s bowl. Then he got out a sausage from the refrigerator.

“Here, Aromat, here!” Tyson called for Aromat.

Tyson’s worry increased when the dog didn’t rush into the kitchen like he always did when Tyson called him for food or treats. He went out with the sausage and bowl of milk to see why Aromat hadn’t got up. The hound was still curled up in his bed, blinking up at Tyson. The boy’s heart went out to the poor creature, who was obviously not feeling well because he wasn’t acting like himself.

“Hey, Aromat,” Tyson caressed Aromat’s head. “You don’t want a sausage?”

Aromat’s ears perked up at the word ‘sausage’, but he still didn’t get up. That was when Tyson knew the hound was not feeling well, and he went to get his mother.

“Mom, I don’t think Aromat is feeling well. He didn’t even get up for a sausage!” Tyson said with concern.

“Oh my,” Tyson’s mother said with worry. “Come on, let’s take him to the vet.”

Tyson and his mom got the dog bundled in his blanket gently and took him to the car. The whole ride to the vet, Tyson held Aromat close to him, hoping that his dog would get back to his old self soon. Once they were at the surgery, the vet agreed to see the dog immediately since Aromat wasn’t like normal dogs and needed special care. Thankfully, there weren’t a lot of patients waiting already.

As they got in to see the vet, both Tyson and his mother looked worried because Aromat seemed lazy and exhausted. The vet quickly checked him out, performing a complete examination to see what was wrong with him. Since Aromat wasn’t an ordinary dog, he didn’t have the anatomy of one either. He was a special dog, so he needed special attention and to be looked after. He couldn’t be examined like a normal dog either, so the vet paid particular attention to him and what could be wrong with him. Aromat was also the first of his kind that the vet had treated. So everything new that happened was also a discovery to the doctor.

“I think there is something wrong with his digestive tract. Has he used his powers recently?” The vet asked.

“Well, he did when we were outside this morning… Do you think that’s what caused this?” Tyson was worried.

“I have never actually treated a dog like Aromat before, so everything is new for me. But from what I gather, that could be a reason why he’s under the weather…,” the vet explained.

“So, what do we do?” Tyson’s mother asked.

“I think that to know more about Aromat and his condition, we need to brainstorm with the creators. I mean, the doctors who conducted the experiment and created farten hounds. They would know more about Aromat’s anatomy and conditions. They would be able to tell better what is wrong with him,” the vet elaborated.

Tyson and his mother were confused.

“Look, Aromat is not an ordinary dog. Some experiments created him. Farten hounds are not a natural breed; they are man-made. I can tell that much just by examining him. So, his anatomy and health conditions are also not ordinary since Aromat was created rather than evolved. That is why the only one who can truly diagnose what is wrong with Aromat is the doctor who created him. Or at least whoever created farten hounds,” the doctor explained further.

34

at they needed to locate the person responsible for the birth of Aromat. It was possible that creating new sounds required a great deal of practice, and the vet suggested that similar to a weight lifter, after a heavy workout, Aromat might merely be suffering some extra muscle aches and pains.

The medical lab was lit brightly with white lights. There were tables full of scientific equipment, medical reports, papers depicting scientific formulas, and many bottles of different liquids. The entire lab looked like there had been a tornado through it. Everything was in a state of chaos. In the centre, a man was wearing a lab coat, stethoscope, and glasses. A surgical mask covered the man’s face, and his gloved hands were working on something. Something on the table in the centre of the room was where the light was focused.

The constant beeping sound in the room indicated a heartbeat that was slow but stable. Then there was the doctor working on the creature on the table. The creature was none other than a dog – a dog that looked unexpectedly just like Aromat. The same brown and white fur, the same eyes, but it was not Aromat. The dog was unconscious as the man continued to work on it. The dog was female and looked older than Aromat. While the farten hound remained unconscious, the doctor/scientist was operating on her.

The dog didn’t look injured, but the surgery was being performed on its torso. The stable sound of the heartbeat provided a background for the otherwise silent room. As the doctor kept working on the dog, his hands were covered in blood as he used a laser tool on the dog’s mid-portion. The dog twitched a little but remained unconscious. The doctor kept operating on the farten hound as it lay unconscious.

***

“Well, mate, I think we are going to find out some things about you and where you came from, eh?” Tyson mumbled to Aromat as he lay on the floor in front of Tyson’s bed. Tyson had just turned on his computer, the words of the vet rolling around his head.

What the doctor had explained made sense to Tyson and his parents. Obviously, Aromat was a special dog, and all his illnesses or health conditions would be unique. They couldn’t expect a regular vet to know about the oddness of his being. The person who had created farten hounds must be able to tell what could be wrong with Aromat and what it had to do with his farting powers.

They had known that farten hounds were a rare breed, but they hadn’t known that the rare breed was not a natural one. When Tyson’s mother and Tyson had told his father William about their conversation, he didn’t know what to say.

“So, they’re not a rare natural breed?” William asked just to be sure.

“No, Dad. They are a product of what looks to be a science experiment. Someone must have wanted to create a super special dog breed with superpowers, so they tweaked with some dogs, and farten hounds were born. At least that’s what the vet thinks,” Tyson explained.

Tyson was too young to understand the implications of a science experiment like that. He was also too young to know the moral dilemma of it all.

“Wanda,” was Tyson’s mum’s name.

“If dogs were experimented on, this makes it a much more complicated issue. Are we sure we should take care of a dog like this? Shouldn’t we go to experts and let them deal with this issue?” Will asked.

“I thought the same, Will, but there’s a problem with that. Aromat seems too attached to Tyson already. And Tyson seems bonded with Aromat. Separating them now would be cruel. I think that it would be better for us to find out where Aromat came from, who created farten hounds, and what more there is to learn about them,” Wanda said wisely.

Tyson had overheard his parents’ conversation and knew that they were right. He had to find out about Tyson’s origins. That was why he came upstairs to his bedroom to get started on it right away. It was a fundamental matter, after all. He had to find out about Aromat’s origins, not for any other reason but for his own sake. Aromat was fine for now, but if he got sick or faced some horrible health condition, they wouldn’t know what to do. Tyson knew he had to find out about where Aromat came from and who created farten hounds in the first place.

As Tyson had already searched online for hours, he couldn’t help but feel frustrated. The closest thing he could find was a fan page for Aromat on Facebook. Tyson had almost given up, about to close every tab and switch off his computer before angrily going to bed when he came across something. It was a newspaper article that wasn’t even about farten hounds. Tyson had tweaked his search slightly and started looking for anything regarding “unique, special, extraordinary dogs”. The article mentioned a “special dog with unique abilities”. Tyson was excited to find a reference to a “unique dog”. It seemed that the dog mentioned was located in a town nearby. Finally, he might get some answers.

37

Chapter 4: Town Kajabbi

 

Ever since Tyson had discovered the news article about the farten hound in a nearby town, he wasted no time in trying to track down the details. It was the first dog who had similar abilities to Aromat. Tyson knew that it was the connection he was looking for. He just wanted to find someone or something that could help him understand more about Aromat and his kind. If even the veterinarian couldn’t understand more about the dog and its anatomy, then there was an urgent need to find someone who could.

Tyson was working tirelessly to find out more information. He would spend every day after school searching for more articles or links that could help him find the dog he had read about. He wouldn’t even go to his friend’s house or play with them in the park because he was determined to find out about Aromat’s origins.

“Still nothing?” Wanda asked her son as she saw him rifling through the recent newspapers he had bought with her at the news agency.

“Nope,” Tyson sighed. “I have looked at every newspaper this town gets every day for the past week. There’s nothing more about that farten hound. I don’t know what else to do.”

Wanda felt her heart break at the sight of her sad son. She knew how much he cared for Aromat, and she felt helpless because she had seen how hard he had been working to find out more about the hound and from where he came. She wanted to help him but didn’t know what she could do.

“Where was it that you read that article?” She asked Tyson. “Maybe if you retrace your steps, then you could find out something more.”

“I’ve already looked through that entire website. There was only one post about farten hounds, and it was that one. They never wrote about it again,” Tyson replied.

Of course, he had already looked through there, Wanda thought. He was an intelligent boy, and she was so proud to see the evidence of that.

“Did you look for the author? Maybe they wrote about farten hounds but on some other website?” Wanda suggested.

Tyson’s eyes widened. “Wait! Mom, that’s a great idea! I didn’t even think of that!”

Wanda smiled, glad to have been of help. “Well, I suggest you start looking, son.”

After his mother went to the kitchen to work, Tyson went back online to look for the article again. He had it bookmarked. He had memorized the author’s name and then went to the search bar on Google to type it in and see what popped up. He was determined to try as hard as he could without giving up. He felt that he owed Aromat that much.

It didn’t take long for Tyson to find the author on a social media site, but there was one downside. The author only contributed to one particular website and the newspaper where Tyson had read the article. He had written other articles on the website, of course, but nothing about farten hounds other than that one article. Tyson was sad to discover that, even with his mother’s help, he hadn’t been able to find much. He went into the kitchen, his face drawn, and sat on the bench while his mother worked.

When she noticed his downturned expression and heavy shoulders, Wanda paused from kneading the dough. “What’s wrong, Ty?”

“I couldn’t find anything,” Tyson sighed dejectedly.

“You couldn’t find the author?” Wanda wiped her hands on the wet cloth she had tied around her waist to the apron.

“I did, but the man works for that website only. He has written other articles but nothing more on farten hounds,” Tyson replied.

“Well, at least you found the author,” Wanda responded, trying to cheer her son up.

“What’s that gonna do?” Tyson said, still upset.

“How about this: you track down the author and try reaching out to him about the article. Since he wrote that article, maybe he has some answers for us,” Wanda said.

Tyson looked up at his mother, contemplating her suggestion. “I guess it’s worth a try….” He went back to his search, opening up his computer and cracking his knuckles. “Let’s find out where you came from, Aromat.”

Aromat was curled up near the fireplace and looked up at the sound of his name. He fart-barked in excitement, not knowing what was going on but still interested since Tyson seemed excited.

Tyson found the author’s social media and sent him a message regarding his quest to discover more about the farten hound. He told the author that he had Aromat, a farten hound, and how he had found him in an alley all alone. Tyson told him all about how Aromat had become sick a couple of days ago, and the vet couldn’t figure out what was wrong with him. Then he asked him and pleaded with him to help him with his questions. He wanted to find out more about farten hounds for Aromat’s sake, and he asked the author to help him since he was the only one who had reported about it.

After sending the long letter to the author, Tyson waited for him to reply. He was not sure if the author would even respond any time soon, but he was hoping his story and queries would make the author at least sympathetic to Tyson’s cause. As Tyson waited, the author didn’t reply. Then his mother called him for dinner, and he had a quiet meal with his family. His parents tried to cheer him up, telling him the author would surely respond to his pleas since he had a genuine concern and questions. Tyson didn’t want to get his hopes up, though.

Tyson was done with dinner and then asked his mother to help him find more connections since the author wasn’t replying. As they went upstairs to look for more things online regarding farten hounds, Tyson was surprised to find a response from the author he had messaged. He was surprised but also delighted since he never thought this would work out.

“Hello, Tyson. I am glad to have received your message and learn that there is, in fact, another farten hound in the world. And so close! I am surprised and pleased to know that the farten hound I had found is not alone in this world. I am also intrigued to listen to your story about your dog, Aromat, with his peculiar habits and abilities. I am also

41

grateful that the article I wrote impacted and allowed you to reach out to me. There is so much I would like to discuss with you, but unfortunately, we cannot do it over these messages. I also would like to see your dog, Aromat, and see for myself how these farten hounds function. Hopefully, we can agree to meet somewhere and discuss your queries about farten hounds.”

Tyson read out the author’s response out loud to his mother, and they were both surprised to see that he was so eager to meet. Things could not have turned out better, Tyson thought. He discussed the author’s request to meet with his mother, and they considered it. Wanda didn’t let Tyson know, but she was a little bit hesitant to let her son go and meet a stranger. Sure, he sounded friendly, but he was still a stranger, and the last thing that she wanted was for her son to meet a stranger he met online.

“If you go, I’ll come with you. I am not letting you go alone,” Wanda told Tyson.

He knew that his mother wouldn’t let him go alone, and he was okay with that. He just wanted to talk to the author about farten hounds.

***

The next day, Tyson and his mother set out to meet the author in the early hours of the morning. Tyson was hopeful about the meeting. Wanda explained to him that there was a possibility that it wouldn’t work out, and the author might not have the answers they were looking for. Tyson understood that, but he was sure that the author would be able to tell him something to start him off.

They met the author, a bald, skinny man in his thirties, wearing glasses, a white polo, and khakis. They went to a café, and the man was completely smitten with Aromat. Aromat loved the attention and rolled over on his back so the man could rub his stomach. Then the author and Tyson started talking about the article he had written. He told them all about his research and the way he had found material for the article. As the author told them all about the farten hound he had written about, they were surprised to learn of all the similarities it shared with Aromat.

“Where did you find the dog?” Tyson asked curiously.

“I found her owner one day. I was writing a piece on the unethical practices being done on different dog breeds. That was when my curiosity led me to a doctor named Frank Copper. At the time, I didn’t know anything about farten hounds, but once I met him, I found the dog I wrote about. She was in his facility, and I knew there was something strange about it. I also noticed that she had a pup. When I saw them, I asked the doctor about them, and he told me they were a rare breed. There were only two of them in the world – the mother and the pup. When I went back to try to rescue the dogs, the doctor and his facility were gone,” the author named Ben told Tyson and his mother.

“So, Dr Frank owned the dogs originally?” Wanda asked, trying to understand.

“Yes. I figured that the doctor still had them. That was until Tyson reached out to me. That was when I knew that Aromat was the pup I had seen in the facility. Since you found him alone in an alley, I am guessing the doctor still has his mother,” Ben responded.

“You’re telling us that Aromat and his mother are the only two of their breed in this world?” Tyson asked, shocked.

“Yes. That’s what the doctor told me, but before I could investigate it further, he was gone. I tried looking for him and found nothing. He could be in a new facility in the same facility or some new country altogether. But he is your best bet to learn more about Aromat and his kind,” Ben said.

“You hear that, mate?” Tyson rubbed Aromat’s ear. “We know about your mum. Now we just have to find her.”

Wanda smiled at her son, but she and Ben shared a look. Tyson was too young to understand that the doctor Ben spoke of didn’t sound so ethical or nice if he was keeping the two dogs with him in his medical facility. Wanda wondered how the doctor even found the farten hounds. There was definitely something strange about the entire situation.

“Dr Frank would know more about Aromat and his mother, right, Mr. Ben?” Tyson asked innocently.

“I am hoping he will, yes. He is your best option since he was the original owner of the dogs,” Ben replied.

“This means that we just need to find Dr Frank now!” Tyson said excitedly. “Isn’t it great, Mum? We will find Aromat’s mother!”

Wanda gave her son a hesitant smile, not wanting to crush her sons’ enthusiasm but also feeling uncertain about the doctor.

“Tell us more about the doctor, Ben.”

“Well, I found him during my research. I did a little background research about him. He is apparently a scientific genius. He graduated early from high school with a 4.0 GPA and went to Harvard for his medical degree. He was in human science before he switched to veterinary studies. During his childhood, Frank owned many pets. One time, there was a newspaper article about him. He had a pet dog who broke his leg one day during an accident. Frank panicked and decided to try and help the dog himself. He treated his dog himself, set his bone straight, and bandaged him up. When they finally did take him to the doctor, the vet was surprised because it looked like the work of a professional vet. Frank was only eight years old. They started calling him the ‘Junior Vet’ after that. Frank would help out his friend’s pets and even treat his own. The vets in his city were shocked because how could an eight-year-old be such an expert at veterinarian practices. But he was. He would help injured animals, and they would heal properly.”

Tyson and Wanda listened with rapt attention as Ben told Dr Frank’s story.

“He opened up his clinic after receiving his Ph.D., but the clinic shut down soon after. Nobody really knows what happened; just that the authorities deemed him unfit to practice anymore. After that, I guess Dr Frank had been working in the low-key medical facility I found him in,” Ben finished.

“Where can we find him?” Wanda asked.

“I’ll give you his last-known address, the facility where I found him with farten hounds. After that, I have no clue where he went, but maybe you could find something at the facility as a lead,” Ben said helpfully. He

45

 

 

   CAR INSURANCE   Actual statements found on insurance forms

by Tubby

               CAR INSURANCE   Actual statements found on insurance forms

 

*    Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I didn’t have.

*    The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.

*    I thought the window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it.


*    I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.


*    A truck backed through my windshield into my wife’s face.


*    A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.


*    The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve many times before I hit him.


*    I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.


*    In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.


*    I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.


*    I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

—————————-

 

The Chicken Hunt
                A Children’s story,

   AVAILABLE HERE

—————————–
* I was on my way to the doctor with rear-end trouble when my universal joint gave way, causing me to have an accident.


*    As I approached the intersection, a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop signs had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.


*     To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.


*     My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.


*     An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.


*     I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, found that I had a fractured skull.


*     I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.


*     The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him.


*     I saw a slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.


*     The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.


*     I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.


*    The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its way, when it struck the front end.