Three doctors are waiting in line to get into the Pearly Gates. St. Peter walks out and asks the first one, “What have you done to enter Heaven?”
“I am a pediatrician and have brought thousands of the Lord’s babies into the world.”
“Good enough to enter the gates,” replied St. Peter and in he goes.
The same question is asked of the second doctor.
“I am a general practitioner and go to Third World countries three times a year to cure the poor.”
St. Peter is impressed and allows him through the gates.
The third doctor steps up in line and, knowing the question, blurts out, “I am a director of an HMO.”
St. Peter meditates on this for a while and then says, “Fine, you can enter Heaven…but only for 2 days.”
A girl goes into the doctor’s office for a checkup. He notices a red ‘H’ on her chest as she removes her blouse. “How did you get that mark on your chest?” asks the doctor. “Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard, and he’s so proud of it that he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love,” she replies.
A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. He notices a blue ‘Y’ on her chest as she removes her blouse. “How did you get that mark on your chest?” asks the doctor. “Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale, and he’s so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love,” she replies.A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. He notices a green ‘M’ on her chest as she removes her blouse. “Do you have a boyfriend in Michigan?” asks the doctor. “No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin; why do you ask?”
A woman goes to her doctor’s office, afraid of the strange development on the inside of her thighs. There was A green spot on the inside of each. They won’t wash off or scrape off and seem to get worse.
The doctor assures her he’ll get to the bottom of the problem and tells her not to worry until the tests return.
A few days later, the woman’s phone rings. Much to her relief, it’s the doctor. She immediately begs to know what’s
causing the spots.
The doctor says, “You’re perfectly healthy–there’s no problem. But I’m wondering, is your boyfriend a Harley guy?”
The woman stammers, “Why, Yes, but how did you know?”
“Tell him his earrings aren’t real gold.”
A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterwards, she told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there. “But how will I let you know the baby is born?” she asked. He replied, “Just send me a postcard and write ‘spaghetti’ on the back. I’ll take care of expenses.” Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy.
Six months went by, and then one day, the doctor’s wife called him at the office and explained, “Dear, you received a bizarre postcard in the mail today from Europe, and I don’t understand what it means.” The doctor said, “Just wait until I get home and I will explain it to you.”
Later that evening, the doctor came home, read the postcard, and fell to the floor with a heart attack. Paramedics rushed him to the ER. The lead medic stayed back to comfort the wife.
He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac arrest. So the wife picked up the card and read, “‘Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti – Two with sausage and meatballs, two without.'”